Tuesday, April 21, 2015

R is for Ruminations - April A to Z Blog Challenge

Abby was deep in thought. So much is happening. I am finally on the road to recovery I believe, I feel better physically and mentally than I have in years. I know Trent is a huge part of that. Damn damn damn! I want Trent here with me so much. But can I let him do that? I’m scared. I’m scared he will come and begin to resent me, I’m scared he will come and it won’t be the same, I’m terrified that he won’t come. These months have been the best in my life and I think the only way for it to be better is for him to be here, where I can share with him, touch him, be with him. But what if it all falls apart, like every other relationship I’ve had. I would rather have him at a distance than to not have him at all. It feels like the perfect romances and loves you only read about…usually in a romance novel. A mutual love, all consuming, yet supportive. A gut wrenching, never waning love. A forever kind of love. I want to just accept and cherish it, but is that wise? I’m tired of making mistakes. Dear God, please don’t let this be a mistake.

Likewise, Trent was also ruminating on his situation. I didn’t mean to blurt out my feelings to Abby. What are you thinking? What’s the matter with you? Do you really think you could move to Ecuador? I’ve been burned so many times, is this time really different? But I’m not going to loose my kids, I have to figure that out first, maybe I will go for a visit to check things out. Our relationship up to this point is based on talking. What if she has some crazy habits that drive me crazy, or the reverse. My need to touch her, kiss her, feel her is so overwhelming, but is that just because I can’t have it? I can’t believe I’m even thinking about this. I just know I want to be near Abby and she is in Ecuador. I absolutely cannot imagine my life without her in it, but can I do what I need to do to be with her?

Cole was always in a state of rumination these days. He had lost his job, so he had all day to sit and think. I can’t believe the bitch left me, left the whole family. I will stop paying the alimony. I know she is broke, so then she will have to contact me and/or come back to town to get her money. If she files a court claim it will have to have her address on it. That will work! When she comes back I’ll teach her a lesson. I should have killed her when I had the chance. Well I just have to make sure I get another chance. And I mean to take out that pretty boy that she is slutting around with too. Ok, that’s settled, I know she will fall for that, the stupid bitch. Maybe then I can take care of her, her boy toy and maybe even her attorney. Lying on the table in front of him were two 7.62 rounds, one with AAG scratched into it, the other with TKD.

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Scarlett Braden
in Cuenca, Living the good life!

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